Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Not Just An Old Chair

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.  Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.  As I stared at the old, blue chair that was falling apart and worn with age, I could still picture holding that baby in my hands and rocking her to sleep, singing that lullaby.  Though it was almost eighteen years ago, it felt like yesterday.  Now, after rocking two more babies in that old chair and many years later, my heart did little flips, as if to say, "Hold on.  The ride is going to get bumpy."

Nothing prepares you for that moment when you realize that your babies are not babies anymore.  I will soon have one going off to college and the other two growing up faster than I can blink.

We decided to get rid of that chair this past weekend...or so we thought.  It was hard for both me and my husband.  We knew that another era was gone and that we needed to embrace this new one.  As we hauled the chair to the garage for it's departure, my husband, usually the voice of reason and logic, decided to put it into storage and let our daughter use it when she goes off to school.  My heart and emotions were relieved for the moment.

I remember my sister telling me that she felt lost after her last child left the nest.  I am beginning to understand what she was telling me.  She had her first grandchild this past year and is now getting used to being called "Grandma."  The grand-baby is definitely not a replacement for her own, but it has eased that emptiness somewhat.  I know that changes happen all the time and that we will acclimate, but not without a fight.

As we loaded up the chair to put in storage, my daughter turned to me and said the craziest thing, "Mom, wouldn't it be nice if we could rock our babies in that chair, too."  I smiled and walked in the house.  It was not just about the chair.  She'll understand one of these days.


Our old rocking chair.


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